Related Knowledge about Ancient Marriage Customs
4 min readThree Letters and Six Etiquettes
A. Three Letters
Betrothal Letter: This was the formal document of the engagement,a must for a marriage.
Gift Letter: This would be given to the identified girl’s family. Within the letter would be a list of the types and quantity of gifts designated for the wedding once both parties accepted the marriage.
Wedding Letter: The Wedding Letter was prepared and presented to the bride’s family on the day of the wedding and was a document that confirmed and commemorated the formal acceptance of the bride into the bridegroom’s family.
B. Six Etiquettes
Proposing: If an unmarried boy’s parents identified a girl as their potential future daughter-in-law, they would then locate a matchmaker. Proposals were the specialty of the matchmakers. The matchmaker would formally present his or her client’s request to the identified girl’s parents.
Birthday matching: If the potential bride’s parents did not object to the marriage, the matchmaker would then ask for the girl’s birthday and birth-hour to assure the compatibility of the potential bride and bridegroom. If the couple’s birthdays and birth-hours did not conflict according to astrology, the marriage would continue onto the next stage. If there was any sign of astrological conflict, which meant the marriage would bring disasters upon both families, the proposed marriage was immediately quashed.
Presenting betrothal gifts: Once both birthdays matched, the bridegroom’s family would then arrange for the matchmaker to present betrothal gifts and the betrothal letter to the bride’s family.
Presenting wedding gifts: After the betrothal letter and betrothal gifts were accepted, the bridegroom’s family would later formally send wedding gifts to the bride’s family. Usually, gifts may include money and food.
Picking a wedding date: An astrologer would be consulted by the bridegroom’s family in order to help select an auspicious date for the holding of the wedding ceremony.
Wedding ceremony: On the selected day, the bridegroom departed with a troop of escorts and musicians, playing cheerful music all the way to the bride’s home. After the bride was escorted to the bridegroom’s home, the wedding ceremony began.
Ningbo Bridal Sedan Chairs
Bridal Sedan Chair is also called Wan Gong Jiao, famous for its delicate technique. The bridal sedan chair in the picture has a height of 3 meters,a length of 1.5 meters, and a width of 95 centimeters. It has delicate wood-carving and splendid golden decoration, which reveals its golden elegance to people who see it.
According to the legend，in Southern Song Dynasty，Zhao Gou，Song Gaozong，was once in danger as he was chased after by the Jin soldiers.Fortunately，he was saved by a local girl.The emperor decided to see her and pick her up to the court.But their meeting signals were revealed.Then the emperor ordered that all the girls in the east of Zhejiang province be queens.
When they got married，they could dress themselves in queen’s phoenix decorations and could sit in the bridal sedan chairs.When officials met them，they had to get off their chairs or horses.
Therefore，since the Southern Song Dynasty，the custom of Ningbo girls sitting in bridal sedan chairs on their marriage was getting more and more popular，and the technique of making thebridal sedan chairs was also getting more and more delicate.One might often hear a married woman say proudly，”I’m carried here by the bridal sedan chair on the wedding day”
Red-Color for the Wedding
Unlike Western tradition，the color red dominates traditional Chinese weddings.Chinesepeople tend to use or wear red to add a joyful atmosphere to such a festive occasion.At dawn on the wedding day，the bride would put on new clothes and a pair of red shoes after bath and waited for the so-called”good luck woman”to dress her hair in the style ofa married woman.Her head would be covered with a red silk veil with tassels.She waited for her future husband to escort her home，with married women talking around her about how to be a good wife.
On the other hand，the bridegroom was preparing himself to receive his wife.He was dressed in a long gown，red shoes and a red silk sash with a silk ball on his chest.The groom knelt at the ancestral altar as his father would declare his adulthood and his family responsibility.
Then the bridegroom set out to receive his bride.The most interesting part of the receptionreally took place at the doorstep of the bride’s residence，which was heavily guarded by the bridesmaid or the bride’s sisters.It was customary for the bridesmaid to give the bridegroom a difficult time before he was allowed to enter.Usually wisdom，courage and his friends could help the bridegroom to succeed in his”trial”.However，there was one more situation he had to negotiate with the bridesmaid and sisters of the bride-to distribute among them red packets containing money-in order to take his bride home.
